How to Do Kegels Correctly (and When Kegels Are the Wrong Answer)

Most women were never actually taught how to do a Kegel. Here is the correct technique, the research-backed cues that make it click, and the situations where Kegels are the wrong answer entirely.

How Do You Do a Kegel Correctly?

A correct Kegel is a gentle internal lift at about 50 percent effort, followed by a full release. Your glutes, thighs, and stomach stay completely relaxed, and your breath keeps flowing. The most effective cue in ultrasound research: imagine you are holding in a fart. If squeezing harder has not fixed your symptoms, more Kegels may not be the answer, and this post covers when they are not.

The Most Prescribed Exercise in Women’s Health Is Also the Worst Taught

Leak when you laugh? Do Kegels. Had a baby? Do Kegels. Going through menopause? Kegels. It is the advice almost every woman receives at some point, usually delivered in three words with zero instruction.

Here is the problem: you cannot see your pelvic floor, most women have never been taught to feel it, and “squeeze down there” can mean five different things to five different bodies. So millions of women are diligently doing something every day that may be a glute clench, a breath hold, or a downward push. And then wondering why nothing improves.

This post fixes that. Real technique, the cues research says actually work, the mistakes that make Kegels useless, and the situations where Kegels are genuinely the wrong tool.

Take the free Pelvic Health Assessment →

What a Kegel Actually Is

A Kegel is a voluntary contraction of your pelvic floor: the hammock of muscle stretching from your pubic bone to your tailbone, and from one sit bone to the other. When it contracts, everything draws gently upward and inward. When it relaxes, everything lets go.

Both halves matter. The contraction builds strength and support. The release keeps the muscle springy, coordinated, and able to respond quickly. A pelvic floor that can lift but never fully lets go is not a strong pelvic floor. It is an exhausted one.

First, Find It: The Four Cues Research Actually Tested

You cannot train a muscle you cannot find. Researchers used ultrasound to watch women’s pelvic floors while they tried different verbal cues, tracking which ones produced the best activation. These four came out on top. Try each one and notice which gives you the clearest sense of a gentle lift.

Cue 1: Zip It Up

Imagine a zipper running from your tailbone to your pubic bone, and slowly zip it up. This one works brilliantly for a lot of women.

Cue 2: Testicles to Spectacles

Yes, really. Nobody knows who designed this one, but it performed in the study, so we honor the science. Imagine lifting up and in, all the way.

Cue 3: The Gentle Squeeze

The study version is “sucking a thick milkshake through a straw.” If that means nothing to your body, try the version our members find far more relatable: imagine giving a gentle squeeze during sex. You have felt that sensation before, so your body has a real reference for it.

Cue 4: Hold In a Fart (the study winner)

The top performer. Imagine you really need to fart and absolutely cannot let it happen. Everybody knows exactly what that feels like, which is precisely why it works.

Whichever cue gives you the clearest gentle lift is YOUR cue. Use it every time you train. That consistency helps your brain connect to the muscle faster and produces noticeably better results.

The Technique: 50 Percent Effort, 100 Percent Release

Once you have your cue, here is the full technique. Sit on a firm chair so you have feedback under your sit bones.

One: relax your stomach, glutes, and thighs completely. Two: exhale gently, and as you do, use your cue to create a small internal lift. Aim for about 50 percent effort. This is a gentle lift, not a power crunch. Three: hold briefly while your breath keeps moving. Four: release fully, and take a moment to actually feel the letting go. Five: repeat.

Two details most instructions skip. First, the exhale matters: your pelvic floor and diaphragm move together, so engaging as you breathe out works with your body’s natural rhythm instead of against it. Second, the release is half the exercise. Rushing from squeeze to squeeze trains tension, not function.

The Mistakes That Make Kegels Useless

The full-body clench

Squeezing glutes, thighs, and abs all at once. None of those are your pelvic floor, and repeatedly doing it trains the wrong pattern. Everything except the internal lift stays soft.

Holding your breath

Breath holding creates downward pressure, the exact thing your pelvic floor is trying to manage. If you cannot breathe through a Kegel, it is too hard. Reduce the effort.

Maximum effort every rep

Squeezing as hard as possible recruits everything around the pelvic floor and buries the skill you are trying to build. Think 50 percent. Precision first, power later.

Never fully releasing

If your pelvic floor never gets to let go, it gradually loses the ability to. That path leads to tightness, fatigue, and symptoms that look exactly like weakness.

Practicing while you pee

Stopping your stream mid-flow is a test some people describe, not an exercise. Done regularly, it confuses the bladder-brain signaling loop and can interfere with normal emptying. Train on a chair, not a toilet.

“I Feel Absolutely Nothing.” Now What?

First: do not panic. Low or absent sensation is common, especially after birth. The pudendal nerve carries the messages between your brain and your pelvic floor, and it can be irritated by birth, surgery, long periods of sitting, or chronic tension. Dulled signals mean the muscle may be working even though you cannot feel it clearly yet.

Keep practicing the cue that resonates most; sensation typically improves with consistent, correct practice. Feeling the back more than the front is completely normal too, and still counts as your pelvic floor working. If nothing changes after several weeks, a pelvic floor physical therapist can assess exactly what is happening. That is a clarity visit, not a failure.

When Kegels Are the Wrong Answer

Here is the part of the Kegel story that does not get told nearly enough: a pelvic floor can be too tight. It is called a hypertonic pelvic floor, and it can produce the same symptoms as a weak one, including leaking, urgency, and pelvic pain.

If the muscle is already stuck in clench mode, asking it to contract harder increases tension, increases symptoms, and reinforces exactly the pattern that needs to change. For a hypertonic floor, release and relaxation come first. Strengthening follows once normal coordination is restored.

Signs tightness might be your situation: leaking that does not improve (or worsens) despite consistent Kegels, pain during sex, difficulty fully emptying your bladder or bowels, a constant feeling of pelvic tension, or you can create a lift but cannot feel a full release afterward. If any of that sounds familiar, stop adding squeezes and get assessed.

Take the free Pelvic Health Assessment →

A Note for the Menopause Reader

Everything above applies at every age. The cues are the same, the technique is the same, and the research support for pelvic floor training in peri and post menopause is solid. The difference is context: lower estrogen means your tissues have less natural support behind them, so correct technique and consistency matter more, not less. You are not starting too late. You are starting exactly where the science says it still works.

Shay says: Ten correct Kegels will do more for you than a hundred distracted clenches at red lights. Find your cue, keep everything else soft, and treat the release with the same respect as the squeeze. And if squeezing more has never helped you, that is not a failure. That is information.

FAQs: Kegel Exercises

How do I know if I am doing Kegels correctly?

A correct Kegel feels like a small internal lift, as if you are gently holding in a fart or zipping up from your tailbone to your pubic bone. Your glutes, thighs, and stomach stay soft, your breath keeps moving, and you can fully relax afterward. If you feel a downward push, a full-body clench, or nothing at all, get assessed before adding more reps.

What is the best cue for engaging your pelvic floor?

Research using ultrasound found that the most effective cue for most women is imagining you are holding in a fart. Other cues that tested well include zipping up from tailbone to pubic bone and gently squeezing as you would during sex. The best cue is the one that gives you the clearest feeling of a gentle lift.

Can Kegels make leaking worse?

Yes, in some cases. If your pelvic floor is already too tight (hypertonic), adding more squeezes increases tension and can worsen leaking, urgency, or pain. If you have been doing Kegels consistently and your symptoms are not improving, or are getting worse, tightness may be the reason. Release work comes first in that case.

Do Kegels still work after menopause?

Yes. Pelvic floor muscle training is effective at every age and stage, including peri and post menopause. Lower estrogen means the tissues have less natural support, which makes correct technique and consistency matter more, not less. It is never too late to start.

Why can I not feel my pelvic floor when I try to engage it?

Often it is a nerve signaling issue. The pudendal nerve carries messages between your brain and pelvic floor, and it can be irritated by birth, surgery, long periods of sitting, or chronic tension. The muscle may be working even though you cannot feel it clearly yet, and sensation typically improves with consistent, correct practice.

Your next step: Before you commit to weeks of daily Kegels, find out if Kegels are even your right next move. Take our free Pelvic Health Assessment: it reads your symptoms, pelvic floor, core, birth history, and exercise history, and tells you whether to strengthen, release, or get checked first.